It‘s so easy to hookup online and have more fun in bed straight away

Back in the day this was much harder. Whoever wanted to find attractive partners for no-strings sex had to trawl through the classified ads in the newspapers.

Not only was this really time consuming, but because the ads didn’t have any photos, until you actually met them in person you had absolutely no idea what they looked like.

But today it’s all so much easier!

In today’s computer age, there are tons of apps and sites that specialise in bringing like-minded people together for no-strings dating.

Men and women register, create their profile and search for potential dates in their area. The advantage: You can get in direct contact with the woman or man without having to go through any third party addresses.

Charlotte: “Casual dating apps are awesome for hooking up, because I have the freedom to stay anonymous when I want. I can browse profiles until I find someone who shares some common interests. This is not so easy to manage when you meet people out and about. But on the internet I am free to reveal what I want, and to hold other things back from strangers, until I get to know them better.

Sounds pretty straightforward right?

Can anyone do this?

In principle yes! But first you have to meet two conditions before you can hook up with new people: you have to be the legal age, and you need to invest a certain amount of time creating your profile.

So long as you treat women with respect here, it is quite possible to create new contacts and meet up with NZ women who are looking for some fun.

Do you have a fetish or perhaps just want to try something new? Make it known in your profile text. Go ahead and go into a bit of detail exactly what it is that you want.

Why?

Only if you are bold enough to state what you want will you ever be able to find people who share the same needs as you or someone who will help you live out your fantasies.

The more interesting your profile, the more hookups you will draw your way.
The difficulty here is how to write something interesting without blowing your cover!

How important is it to stay anonymous?

Well, everyone will have their own opinion here. But we start from the presumption that people want to stay anonymous.

So what exactly do we mean when we say anonymous?

The advantage to staying anonymous is that no one in your circle will find out that you are looking for sex online. After all, no one wants their boss finding out about their sexual desires and proclivities!

So you should avoid giving your real name out when you register online on a casual sex app. Think of a name that bears no relationship to your own in any way.

And there are several possibilities when it comes to your profile photo. With some platforms, you can disguise your face so that no one will recognise you.

If you don’t have this option, simply choose a photo in which your face is hidden, but obviously put your most flattering body parts on sale for all to see.

Nope! No dick pick. Any half-way respectable platform will block the photo immediately and you may find yourself turfed off the site. And in case you didn’t already know: very few women appreciate dick picks from men they don’t even know. It is for the best if you refrain from doing this.

Well that’s obvious isn’t it? Sex of course

But hold your horses…

But as with real life: If you want to understand women better, you need to get to grips with their psyche.

Let’s have a go right now!

What motivates NZ women to sign up to hookup sites?

It is no secret that women site up on casual sex sites to kill the boredom. “I wanted to satisfy my curiosity and take a look for myself” or “I was curious to see what type of guy would send me a message” are some of the typical explanations that women give.

Olivia: “A good friend of mine has been looking on these hook-up sites for a while now. I was surprised to find this out- I thought this was something that only strange people did.

But then she showed me some photos of a guy she’d bedded. After this, I signed up for myself, because I just had to see whether I would also get the same sort of attention from guys like this.

I’ve got to say one thing though: there were so many messages that I just couldn’t deal with. But some of them were really sweet and polite. At some point the curiosity got the better of me and I decided to go on a date...

I’ve had so much fun that since then I have found a whole load of hookups”

Some friendly advice:

Don’t wait for women to make the first move. Typically, women wait for men to send the first message.

When you first get chatting to women, the first thing you should do is introduce yourself politely and thoughtfully. Exactly how you would in real life…

The big advantage to online sex dating…

All of the profiles that you see on a no-strings dating site will be of women who are looking for sex.  This undoubtedly makes it way easier for you to establish something than, say, if you were at a party or in a supermarket.

What do women expect online?

The simple answer: Anything but boredom.

Beautiful NZ women are sick and tired of hearing the same creepy messages and compliments from men. Actually, it gets pretty annoying after a while. And you’d also get annoyed if every time you went online you received a comment about your beautiful eyes.

And don’t go getting the wrong idea, it’s also not smart to compliment a woman on her cleavage. Just because she has made it known that she is looking for sex, doesn’t mean she wants to be reduced down to her sexual organs.

So how do you put your best foot forwards?

The best way to get started is with some cheeky humour:

“Hi Lisa, I’m going to dispense with the usual clumsy chat up lines and actually introduce myself so you can get to know me. In my free time, I like to ride my motorcycle and am often on road trips with my mates. I am a Craftsman by trade. It would be lovely to get to know some interesting and fun women and to have a good time. I’d love to hear more about you?”

A sentence like: “feel like giving me just a little today sweety?” will be met with tumble weed. So don’t even try it!

When you write to women, you ought to proceed as if you will eventually get to know them in real life, preferably on a date.

Needless to say, she wants sex. And so do you. But there is no reason whatsoever to ruin the suspense and blurt it out in the first message you send. Let it smoulder a bit under the surface, and watch the desire slowly grow.  Consider that she needs to make a first impression of you and decide what kind of a guy you are.

Here’s a question bound to get your attention: How quickly can I organise a hookup in New Zealand?

Our opinion: If you have done everything - if you have made a reasonably good profile and followed the social etiquette, there’s no reason why you can’t get some within three days. If all goes your way of course.

Why do you need a bit of luck?

Well that’s easy. You both need to be available at the same time. In New Zealand, hook-up app users have to wait anywhere between 3 and 7 days from first message to getting lucky, on average.

Our advice: It is not wise to organise loads of dates. Two, three, maybe four is OK, and will increase the likelihood of something working in your favour.

How do you charm her into your bed?

When you first meet your date, it’s about seeing if the chemistry works. Should this be so, you’ve got to make a move. And to be sure, it’s seldom the lady who does this. It’s your job to take the first step.

Right, so how do you do this exactly?

There are plenty of possibilities:

Now take this down: Talk about your hobbies, but talk about much more. Steer the conversation onto more naughty territory, get her talking about what she wants from a man in bed.

If you can make your way across this terrain comfortably, you’re practically there already. Touch her subtly when you get the chance, and pay attention to how she reacts.

Now don’t forget…

Now clearly most men struggle to stay cool while talking about sex with a new woman.

But then again, you’re not most men.

Get closer to her during the conversation. Touch her arm gently. She’ll let you know with her body language if the time is right or not.

If she returns the touch, you’re definitely getting the right signals. Maybe you’re closer to that first kiss than you thought, you actually ready for it? ;)

This not your style? No problem.

There are other ways to get her in your bed.

So you notice that the date is drawing to a close, but you haven’t managed to raise the temperature yet?

Invite her for a drink at your place. If she agrees, this doesn’t guarantee you are going to sleep with each other, but you are certainly another step closer. Get back to your place, and continue on as you were. Slowly bring her closer, some more subtle touching and perhaps tell her how unbelievably attractive she is ;)

But one thing should be clear: if she wants to go back to your place, the chances are pretty good that she want sex. After all, this was why you both met up in the first place. If it still isn’t clear from her body language: ask her!

A bit jittery before your first casual sex date?

Put those empty hours before the date to good use- watch a James Bond film!

Men can learn from James Bond, especially when it comes to seducing the women

In comparison to 007, you have one significant advantage...

If you are looking for woman for a hot adventure, you’ll have an easier job than James Bond, because you had the chance to search for them first online. The women you find on hook up sites want exactly the same thing as you do: They want sex.

On your date, all you need to do is show that you are fun and laid back.

How would James Bond handle this?

James Bond was calm and collected, stoic and still. So do the same on your date. No rash movements, look your date in the eye and smile. Build trust and rapport. Show her that you are ready as a man to take control.

Something important to bear in mind…

James Bond would never let a woman know that she had got under his skin. He sees what he wants and he acts. But he never lets his thoughts run away from him and he never puts them on a pedestal.

If you are getting  distracted by how lovely your date is, stay cool.

And anyway, you know what women hate?

Women hate clingy and needy men

When you hook up with a woman, keep yourself in check. Stay calm and stable. You’re going to be nervous, and so will she. Whatever you are feeling, the chances are, so is she.

Be confident, hold eye contact, and more importantly- be in the moment with her.

And another thing – being confident does not mean hiding your weaknesses. Quite the opposite. We all have weaknesses. Own them! Your weaknesses are not the problem. Being confident means having the strength to recognise who you are and being OK with it.

And women love it if you can do this!

And the way you back this up is by assuming that leading role with ease.

When you drop the barriers and show your true self, she’ll see that you are a real person. This is endearing.

But you should also balance this with your dominant and leading role. This will show that you are strong. Women will appreciate this.

How should you go forward with this?

This is really quite easy. Decide which table you are going to sit at. Refill her drink when it is nearly empty. Help her with her coat, open the door, pull a chair over for her.

It’s not so hard right? And you’ll go up in her estimation for every one of these small gestures.