In simple language: This is how you can master no-string dating in New Zealand

Believe it or not, there are still people out there who think that women never go on dates just for sex. Our guess is that these people have never signed up to any of these sites or apps before.

But one thing is clear: Providing a few essential components are in place, NZ women are just as into no-strings dating as men.

So what aspects in particular are important for women here?

The growing popularity of many NSA / casual dating apps is definitely no coincidence. If women register en masse on an app or a casual dating site, it means that the platform designers have figured out what women really want.

The recipe for success requires a high level of communication, discretion and the guarantee of anonymity.

Above all, women mainly turn to apps that treat dating seriously rather than as something dirty and disrespectful- we’re talking style and class rather than, as some refer to them- "fuck apps" and easy women. Women do not look for "fuck dates", but rather the allure of the unknown where dates are mysterious and could go in any direction.

Jessica: “There was an article in an online magazine about the casual dating trend that described how many sexually adventurous women find men for affairs and one-night stands this way.

As i’m not currently interested in a serious relationship, I decided to take the leap. As a woman however, you need to be careful, some guys either don't have a clue what they are doing or are quite vulgar. Nonetheless, a couple of classy gentlemen have given me faith again. They knew what women today are after"

The members of these apps and sites are first and foremost concerned with treating one another with respect and behaving with a touch of class. Aspects such as maintaining anonymity and discretion are understood here.

All of the following sites and apps are categorised as "casual dating". Due to the high number of female members, this is the best way to find sex without wasting time in New Zealand.

Of course, word of both the best and the worst apps usually spreads quickly.

So which dates are the best for arranging no-strings attached dates?

Naturally, these are the ones with a high number of female user. So check out our list of the most popular apps for sex dating - but be aware, this is where all the other guys are heading.

In order to successfully find dates, it is crucial that you take the time to stand out from all the other members in some way.

But don’t stress!

It's not all about looks! Of course it certainly helps if you hit the genetic lottery, but the most important thing is to show yourself clearly and confidently not just as a man, but as a man with sexual energy.

You have to do some chasing. Every woman wants to feel desired, and casual sex dating is no different. And remember, showing interest and initiative starts way before you contact anyone with the creation of your dating profile.

How should you approach this then?

Don't look at the whole thing as you simply trying to have sex, but see it instead as that dream job you've always wanted. Now if this were actually the case, you wouldn't be rushing straight in doing half a job. You'd invest the necessary time to think the application through carefully before submitting it. Ideally, this would not only contain an imaginative letter of motivation, but also job references or other information that is important for the position.

The profile you create on the casual dating app is your application. Here you have the chance to illustrate exactly who you are, what you do in your free time, what your interests are and also, what you are into sexually.

But what you absolutely must avoid at all cost is...

The empty Profile. Nobody finds a blank profile the least bit interesting and moreover, it looks suspicious and fake. Why would any woman reply to a message from such a pointless and lazy profile, especially when so many other men went to the trouble of making their profile meaningful?

A blank profile gives users an unimaginative and uninspiring impression of you. Boring profiles make women automatically assume boring, monotonous sex. And that's the last thing they want on a no-strings app.

Moving on, right after the text comes the photo.

It's best to choose a current photo of yourself so that there are no unpleasant surprises on the night, either for the woman or for you. And by the way, nude photos are not allowed here. Very few women find them at all enticing, and if they do, it's usually not because you're displaying them for the world to see.

Whereas the profile describes and defines you, the private message you should focus on the person you want to flirt with.

What was the main reason that you decided to message them?

Maybe the photo spoke to you, maybe they have a way with words, or maybe their sexual preferences made you curious. At this point your task is to convince the respective woman that you have a genuine interest in her as a person.

Lisa: “I can't save myself from the waves of messages, and so many of them are simply junk. Therefore, as a matter of principle, I only message the people who take the effort to look at my profile”.

Don’t be something you’re not!

Of course, you are understandably eager to see some action, but it is not advisable to start trying to second guess who you should be and what you should say.

Honesty is the best policy: As a grown man, you should be clear about what or who you want in terms of sexual adventures. Don't sell yourself short. What you have indicated in your profile ought to be the truth. Stick with it and use that as your guideline.

Sophia: “I really can't figure out those guys. Someone wrote to me- I am a woman with black hair-  although he made it quite clear in his profile that he was looking for a blonde. Not to mention the fact that we also had completely different sexual interests and the age gap was way off too"

You see: Women are particularly sensitive to this topic and you certainly don't want to leave the impression that you are neglecting your principles because of your sexual needs, right? To prevent that from happening, look at the profile of your possible date and consider whether you would fit.

So why are we giving you this advice?

It’s really quite easy: if you are on the same page, the chances of you finding not just the one conversation starter, but several shared topics of interest is much better.

“Hello Beautiful. Your profile picture just took my breath away. It's great that you share my passion for Indian cuisine. Do you have a favorite dish?”

In this way, you’re making it perfectly clear that you are interested in the person on the other side of the screen, and what’s more, you’re capable of holding a decent conversation.

In the event that you are blown away by a woman right off the bat: don't lay the compliments on too thick.

It’s only right that you want to wow your opposite with compliments.

In any case, the reality is:

Beautiful women in particular are constantly showered with compliments about their bodies or the way they move, which is why the whole compliment thing is played out for them. Truth be told, most pretty women are annoyed and bored it.

And if you are honest with yourself for just a moment…

How would you feel if you received continual compliments about your alluring eyes, but actually wanted to be noticed in a more deep and meaningful way? Surely you would much rather that the other person appreciated your charm, your humour or your intelligence?

Assuming that you know how to compliment a woman on both her looks and her character, don't force anything inauthentic. If you can't think of anything to say about her personality, you're better off leaving it alone.

Even the established NZ casual sex apps and sites cannot completely protect themselves from fakes on their platforms. So it is almost inevitable that you will deal with one or the other woman who is not all she claims to be.

But honestly, there’s no reason to fret...

You can usually spot the fakes from the real women looking for a good time.

An important rule with NSA dating:

If she looks too good to be true, you should be sceptical.

So if, for example, a hot woman - the model type - contacts you before you have even had the opportunity to properly write your intro, something may be wrong. Healthy scepticism pays off here.

In order to keep yourself safe, there are some basic points that you should keep in mind when looking for no-strings sex.

Give your personal data out sparingly. Due to the fact that you do not know your counterpart in the chat, giving out your phone number, your Facebook page, your home address or an e-mail address in which you use your full name is not advisable- at least not at the beginning.

Of course, casual dating app operators go to great lengths to rid their portals of fakes, but on occasion they are not picked up straight away. So make it clear right from the start that you are not falling for the usual scams.

With real women, by the way, it works in your favour if you don't come across like a push over, but hold your own and push back from time to time. This way, you score points for being genuine and honest, which you can usually pick up on immediately while chatting.

You are already familiar with the gist of casual dating. So you are already well on your way to having some interesting encounters very soon.

Would you like to know how to guarantee real success with your dates?

Here are some crucial tips:

The time has got to be right

What do you need to bear in mind with regards to planning and how long does the whole process all take?

Ideally, you'll both have cleared your schedule for the date, which is why meeting in the evening is way better than for lunch. If it all goes to plan, you'll have something to do after the date.

The right place for a no-strings date

Organising a first date at your place or at your dates is out of bounds, you have to keep yourself safe. Nonetheless, go for somewhere that is near your place.

The textbook approach is to meet up for your first no-strings date at, for example, a restaurant, a café or a bar. These are public places that offer a degree of security, while at the same time offering you the privacy you need to get to know each other and flirt.

If you decide on a bar, you have the right selection of alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks. Alcoholic drinks can quickly ease the mood ...

But…

Always keep the following two things in mind.

Firstly: Usually, the man pays the bill for the evening, which is a good opportunity to show how generous you are. Don't get this wrong, however: you shouldn't let yourself be ripped off. It doesn't have to be several bottles of champagne in one evening.

Which brings us straight to point number two:

Don't forget, you met for sex, not to get totally wasted together. If you end up between the sheets later, it would be very embarrassing if you can no longer come up with the goods.

And now for the most important of all…

Take the lead!

Most women find confident men who are willing to show some leadership very attractive.

So don’t let any nerves show. Even if your date looks nervous, don’t bottle it.

The truth is…

Even the most experienced players are a bit insecure before every casual sex date, simply because it’s the fear of the unknown. The only difference is that they can deal with the nerves better.

Just look at the whole thing as a great opportunity to hone your skills and gain some more experience.

What every woman wants from a man more than anything is that feeling of security. You can only be successful if she feels safe with you. And she’ll find herself drawn to you when you come across as self-confident and in control.

And how do achieve this aura of self-confidence and control?

Couldn’t be easier actually!

Move with purpose and radiate absolute calm. Look her in the eye when you talk to her. If you can’t keep eye contact with your date, you’ll instantly come across weak and insecure.

How do you impart leadership skills and a strong will?

The answer to this question is also very simple!

It begins by thinking ahead when you enter a restaurant or bar, choosing the right table and knowing the drinks.

If you are enjoying a bottle of wine and her glass is empty, you should refill it without being prompted.

It's also up to you to close the distance and make it physical, making that subtle transition from just a date to the possibility of something more, and here, the right atmosphere is crucial.

You probably already know why the meeting point for the date shouldn't be too far from your home, right?

By offering her a nightcap, you are proving once again that you are showing initiative. If this goes the way you are hoping, it almost certainly means more than just a drink. ;)

If your apartment is out of the question, you could also switch to a nearby by-the-hour hotel, as these are often very hygienic and not nearly as bad as their reputation would lead you to think. However, this is more of an option if you've already had sex and you both know exactly what to expect. Provided you have already agreed in the chat that sex is on the cards, a hotel will do just nicely.

And now we have reached the most important consideration with casual sex….

Safety!

Always keep these two words in mind: “Safety first”.

A condom is therefore always the most important thing to have with you to ensure your protection. Most of the time, because of your leadership role, she will expect you to take care of the condoms as well.