5 Questions you should clarify before moving in together.
Most important insights:
Before you move in with your partner, consider these points to ensure a happy and successful home together:
- Consider the number of rooms you need based on your interests and hobbies.
- Decide what furniture you will bring with you and what style of furniture will work for you both.
- Divide household chores and make sure everyone knows what to do.
- Know your partner's quirks and idiosyncrasies to avoid unpleasant surprises.
- Think ahead about how you will handle joint expenses and finances.
Stacked boxes, a shared doorbell, and a new chapter in your life. Moving in with your partner is a big step - especially if you have been living alone for years.
In a single household, you've long been your own boss, with no one to answer to. Whether it was the toilet lid that was always open, the special rituals you created for yourself, or the safe space your own four walls provided.
When you move into a home together, a period of compromise begins.
Many couples don't realize they don't like certain quirks or habits until they've lived together for a while. But how do you prevent this from happening?
Oh, that's right, communication is the foundation of any relationship - even moving in together!
The fact is that two households become one, and two people are constantly confronted with each other. This makes it all the more important to clarify certain things beforehand. Otherwise, after a few weeks, the house will not be ready and you will regret moving in together. Living together often brings new challenges that you may not have been aware of.
That's why we got together and came up with five important things to consider when planning to move in together.
- The number of rooms
- What furniture will you take with you? The question of style
- Sharing household chores
- Getting to know each other
- Costs and finances
If you and your beloved are considering putting an end to the constant commute and moving into a shared apartment, these issues should be addressed in advance.
An important question to always ask is
1. How many rooms?
Will one bedroom and one living room be enough? Or does one of you have hobbies that take up a lot of space, so a third room might be more appropriate?
People have different interests these days, and this should be taken into account when moving in together. One of you is passionate about streaming and the other about making music? Two hobbies that cannot run in parallel in the same room and really call for an extra room.
Of course, cost is also an important consideration, and that depends on where you live. In addition to the question of how many rooms you need, there is also the question of where the apartment will be located. If you both work from home, at least the commuting factor is eliminated. However, if you both have jobs that require you to be present, you need to be able to get to work easily. If one of you has a ten-minute commute and the other has to travel halfway around the globe, this may lead to discussions sooner or later.
2. What furniture will be in the shared apartment?
Does Aunt Ingrid's antique floor lamp go with the modern sideboard? When people move in together, they often have two very different interior design ideas. After all, both people should feel comfortable in their own four walls.
The discussion about who will take what furniture into the new apartment always ends with one person having to part with more furniture. The bed in particular is always an issue that plays a big role. All this time there have been no problems with it and suddenly the question arises how many people have already had intimate contact with it.
A little tip: When moving in together, it is always a good idea to get out of the way of this discussion and propose a new purchase. This not only has the advantage of making the question unnecessary. After your first joint investment, you can both look around and include individual preferences in the decision. Do you prefer two separate mattresses of different firmness or one continuous mattress?
When it comes to furniture, you need to be willing to compromise. Want to keep the old tea set? Then let your partner decide which coffee table will go in the new apartment. If you can't agree on anything, you'll have to hit the furniture stores.
3. Share the chores: Who does what?
Sharing an apartment means sharing a household. There may be some chores that you enjoy doing. After all, there are probably people who like to clean the windows or do the dishes. Try to figure out how you can best complement each other.
Women like it when men help out around the house and don't just do the superficial things. Find a balance so that one of you doesn't end up doing most of the housework. One way to do this is to have a chore chart that lists the tasks. Another option is to take turns doing different parts of the household. Before moving in together, you should know what your strengths and weaknesses are when it comes to housework and try to balance them out.
4. Know the quirks
Whether it's leaving the toilet lid open or being a ticking time bomb before your first cup of coffee. Quirks and habits definitely need to be discussed in advance.
Maybe you've never spent a week together, or you've only been together non-stop on vacation. Everyday life will be different than a romantic weekend in a cute beach house. For many men, the first time they see their partner without makeup is when they move in together, or they find out that she watches GZSZ every night with a cucumber mask on.
It's important to get to know each other's habits before you move in together so that you can adjust to them. You've probably developed your own rituals and quirks over time. Whether you are a morning person or a night person should also be clarified in advance.
5. Expenses and finances
While you may have been your own boss until recently, you probably won't be able to just buy the Fortnite season pass in the future. Moving in together also means talking about expenses and keeping an eye on your finances together. Especially when it comes to new purchases, you'll no longer be the sole decision-maker and will always have to expect a veto from your better half.
You should discuss hobbies and activities that involve regular expenses in advance to avoid such conflicts.
In conclusion
Moving in together should not be seen as an adventure. Many couples rush into it and find that they don't get along with each other.
If you think that a week's vacation together will work like a trial run, we are sorry to disappoint you. This scenario is far from the daily reality, where the true face is revealed. So before you start looking for an apartment together, communication should be your first priority. Have a detailed conversation about how you envision moving in together and who will do what.
This doesn't mean that everything has to go according to plan, but it will allow you to address any potential conflicts in advance.