The 30 best questions to ask on a first date
The first date with your crush is just around the corner. The excitement is starting to turn to nervousness and the big moment is drawing closer. Are you worried about the awkward silences that often occur during the first date and are you looking for a way to avoid these awkward moments? With well-chosen questions, you will always have something up your sleeve when the conversation loses momentum.
It can be tempting to show off on a first date. However, it might not be wise to do so, as the first date is about finding out more about the other person. At best, you want to know by the end of the date whether the person is a potential partner for dating and a relationship, or whether it will just be a one-night stand. That's why it's important to get as much information as possible during your time together.
This is not just for your own benefit, of course, but also to show your date that you are genuinely interested in them. Questions such as "How was your weekend? Or "What's your favorite color?" are exactly the kind of questions everyone expects to be asked at a first date. Do you prefer to impress on a first date with your creativity and individuality? Then we have 30 questions that will make you shine on your first date and prove that you are genuinely interested.
Did you know that around two thirds of singles don't flirt or wait to be approached? That's according to a survey - so you're not alone if you're unsure about how to flirt in real life.
To help you keep the conversation going on your first date, here are 30 questions that will make your first date a breeze.
1. Did you have an easy time getting here?
One of the best questions to ask at the beginning of a date. Especially if your date has come by public transport, it shows that you have thought about it. And as an opener, it also shows that you are interested in how your date is doing.
2. Are you nervous before dates, too?
The crux of this question is the word "also," because it tells you that you were nervous before the date and that you do not consider scheduling dates as a run-of-the-mill activity. If your counterpart answers this question with a "yes," that's a pretty good sign for you.
3. What would you like to share with your past self?
Would you like to have a deep talk? With this question you can open up a deep conversation and find out more about the other person. The beauty of this is that the answer is likely to lead to several other questions. Your date would like to tell the former me that money is not the most important thing in the world? OK, but why is that and what moments have led to this realisation? You can already see that a really good conversation can be built around this question.
4. What superpower would you like to have?
Sounds a bit strange, but it can tell you a lot about your date. Is it a superpower that can be used to enrich yourself, or one that can be used to solve problems? This reflects whether your date is selfish or cares about the welfare of others.
5. What has been your favourite moment of the day so far?
Among other things, this question allows you to find out about your partner's current state of mind. Of course, the desired answer would be that this very moment in which you are sitting facing each other is the best moment of the day.
6. What was the best moment of your life?
Ideally, this will tell you something about their character. Was it a moment that involved a lot of emotion, or was it more of a situation that involved material things? And you can probably imagine that there will be follow-up questions that will allow you to go into more detail.
7. What goals do you still want to achieve?
Okay, this might sound like a job interview question, but it also contains important information. Is your date a person with goals, or does he or she prefer to live from day to day? Find out where your date sees himself or herself in five years' time. You may have similar goals, which can help you bond in the beginning.
8. What was your worst date?
Ask this question with a wink and a smile. This way, you'll know which future date ideas you'd better discard right away. You can also turn the tables at this point and ask what a fabulous date would be like for your date. This will give you ideas that you can and should include in your next date planning.
9. Is your job just a job or a passion?
This question assumes that you already know something about the job. If not, you can always ask again about the exact job of your date beforehand. Maybe you've only touched on the subject in the chat and you know it's something to do with marketing. So why not talk about their working life and find out if they are really passionate about their job?
10. Which of your own habits do you find strange?
Does the cutlery always have to be in perfect order, or does your counterpart have a real obsession with cleaning? Everyone has a little 'oddity' that makes us who we are. Questions that focus on such small details show genuine interest and are always good for getting to know someone.
Pause - Questions for an active conversation
OK, a third of the way through our questions, we're going to let you in on the secret of asking targeted and imaginative questions. Not only has your date probably never been asked about the strangest qualities on a first date. By asking questions, you take over some of the conversation. Questions lead to answers, and answers can lead to new questions. You pass the ball to each other and, with a bit of luck, you end up with deep and insightful communication.
And now on to the ideal questions for the first date....
11 Are you an only child?
A question that gives an insight into how the person grew up. Single children are known to be selfish. In case the person has siblings, it is always interesting to know whether he/she is the youngest or one of the children who took on the role of protector at an early age.
12. Are you happy with your present life?
Maybe not the best way to start a first date. But it is a great question to ask later on. After you've talked about various everyday topics and experiences, you can use this question to find out a lot about your date's current life situation and state of mind.
13. Where would you most like to be right now?
When you ask this question, you feel your heart beating faster for a moment. Would they rather be anywhere else than with you right now? You shouldn't expect this answer to say that the present moment is the ultimate. But it is a way of inferring whether the person likes to spend time in certain places. Would he or she like to be on a romantic beach or on top of a mountain with a phenomenal view? If you can still find a place in this scenario, you've done everything right so far.
14. What are your no-go's in a relationship?
Everyone has things that are absolute no-go's. While some people hate it when their partner meets friends every Sunday to go gambling, others hate it when they are the only social contact within a relationship. The answer to this question will give you an immediate indication of whether you are on the same wavelength in this respect, or whether your views are fundamentally different.
15. How do you reward yourself?
How do you celebrate small and big successes? Does this person throw a big party after a promotion and really let loose, or does he or she prefer to treat himself or herself to a spa weekend to unwind? How important is materialism to them when it comes to doing something good for themselves? This will help you to know, among other things, what is required of you as a potential partner.
16. How would you describe yourself in three words and how would your friends describe you in three words?
OK, so you can't really tell from this question whether your potential partner is going to pull answers out of her hat. How he would describe himself and how his friends would describe him will tell you something about how he sees herself. Does he see himself as completely organized when his friends would describe him as more chaotic and unstructured? How far do the statements differ?
17. What is their sense of humor?
Does the person laugh at things that make others cringe? Humor is one of the most important qualities for a healthy relationship, according to numerous surveys. Are you more of a black humor type, but your partner is pure to the point of perfection? This can quickly lead to communication problems, especially when it comes to irony and sarcasm.
18. What is your greatest fear?
Perhaps the greatest fear is to be abandoned by everyone and end up alone? Or is it going broke and having to start all over again professionally? The answer will tell you a lot about their values and how they are wired.
19. Why and for how long have you been single?
Yes, a question that probably everyone has had to answer on a date. Of course, it's interesting to know why the person is still on the dating market and why it hasn't worked out yet. Is it the demands, the wrong hand in the dating game, or has it just not clicked yet? Especially when it comes to demands, you should follow up directly. Try to find out as soon as possible if you can meet the requirements or if the ideas are completely different.
20. What is your secret talent?
If the conversation is going well and you have established a certain rapport, scratch beneath the surface. Is there something that your date is particularly good at that he or she is not telling you about? Whether it's secretly singing in the shower, a stack of anime sketches or writing romantic poetry, once the person talks about their secret talent, they'll open up and give you access to more personal topics.
Final spurt - not only ask questions, but listen actively and properly.
It goes without saying that you don't slam a catalogue of questions on the table and start an interrogation on a first date. You ask questions and then listen actively, which means giving direct feedback to the person you're talking to. And it's not just about throwing in things like "understand" or nodding with a smile. Asking follow-up questions and repeating answers in your own words shows that your mind isn't elsewhere.
That's why you only need a handful of our questions to keep the conversation going. And because it's a conversation, you're bound to be asked questions, which is just a sign of interest from your counterpart.
But to give you a wider choice of first date questions, here are our final ten ideas. These are more specific questions that require some research.
21. What TV show are you currently watching?
In the getting-to-know-you phase of online dating, you already know that your partner is a fan of a certain genre. True crime or fantasy? Romance or apocalyptic scenarios? Find out a little about the hottest tv shows and use this question to lay the groundwork for hours of conversation. Again, there is a wide range of follow-up questions. How is it that this person prefers to watch shows that keep others up for nights?
22. What would a week without a smartphone be like for you?
For many people, the smartphone is irreplaceable. They always have it with them, and even when they go to the toilet there is time for a few funny TikTok videos. So how would your date react if somebody took away their smartphone for a week? The question assumes that your date is someone who wouldn't be happy with a day of silence.
23. What is the perfect Sunday for you?
You want to know more about whether the person is more of a couch potato or likes to play sports in their spare time. Then the question about the perfect Sunday is the one that will help you find out how your date likes to spend his or her free time.
24. What is most important to you in a relationship?
Since the goal is to find out if the person sitting with you considers the relationship a real one, questions like these are also appropriate and important. You both want to know at the end of the date whether it is worth meeting again, or whether your ideas are so far apart that you should leave it at that. Just because you get on well doesn't mean you have the same relationship standards.
25. How do you start your day in the morning?
Are you more of a routine person or someone who starts each day differently? Not everyone wakes up in the morning ready to start the day in a cheerful mood. If you could embrace the world when you wake up, but your partner wants to hold the coffee cup first, you should know that about each other.
26. What do you feel like doing right now?
Are you aware that your partner is a spontaneous person and likes to be accepted for this? Then, during the date, just ask if your date is in the mood for something. Maybe there's a mini-golf course nearby or a playground where you can swing and look at the stars. If you are responsive to your date with your questions, it shows that you are genuinely interested.
27. Was there a moment that changed your life?
Has he or she always been the determined person sitting in front of you today? Or was there a particular moment in your life that led to a shift in consciousness and an abrupt change in your outlook and way of life? Especially in these times, glow-ups are all the rage and everyone is trying to get more out of their lives.
28. What dreams do you still want to fulfil?
Is their career at the forefront or are things like family planning on their bucket list? This question will give you a little insight into what makes the person tick and what their priorities are in life.
29. Do you have any regular routines in your life?
Yes, even small things like certain routines or quirks can come to light through specific questions. They also show that you are genuinely interested in the person, their lifestyle and their daily routine. After all, you didn't go on the first date for nothing. You seem attractive and sympathetic to each other - and if this remains the case during the date, such detailed questions are always the right way to go.
30. How can I please you?
The odds are in your favour and you've already spent some time together? Then this question is a great way to find out how to wow him/her on a second date. Maybe it's just the little things you can do to bring a smile to your significant other's face.
In summary
With our 30 first date questions, you should have a great selection of questions to get the conversation started on the first date. However, it's important to let the questions flow spontaneously and not feel like you have a complete list of questions prepared. Try to follow up on the answers given and go into more detail on different points. You will soon notice how much your partner opens up and how much he/she reveals about himself/herself.