Dating without cost via app: The most direct way to casual sex and hookups, 100% free

Women have a different focus than men. Regardless of equality of the sexes, it is demonstrably so the case that women have different priorities than men when it comes to sex and love. They’re simply wired differently.

Most of the men that are met with failure when they search for free casual sex online are quick to condemn dating apps as a waste of time.

But the truth is a bit different!

By and large, women are a lot more reserved than men when it comes to pursing sex, and no where near as pushy!

Usually, women voice their sexual interests less often, and when they do this is usually done in a veiled and indirect way. Especially if you happen not to look like Brad Pitt or George Clooney, you’ll find that even the most open and honest women tend not to talk about their sexual desires.

So how then do you know when a woman is on the lookout for something casual (for free, of course)?

This is unfortunately not so easy to figure out in a bar or a nightclub. It really isn’t on show for you. But if you find a woman returning your advances, this is surely a good start.

But…you only really have 100% certainty with hookup apps. And so, these apps are the best way to meet new people who are looking to hookup in NZ, without any additional headaches.

But what’s the deal with these fakes and scams you’ve heard all about?

Obviously the internet is teeming with con artists. Nonetheless, there are trustworthy casual dating providers that offer high-standards with regards to verifying users and weeding out the fakes. So the most important thing is to choose your provider carefully!

When it comes to casual dating one thing is crystal clear: it is far wiser to proceed with caution than to dive straight in without doing your research first. Which is exactly why we provide you here with the best tips for avoiding fakes:

Pay close attention to suspicious looking profiles. If the profile is empty or has just a few generalised, empty cliches, the chances are pretty high that you have found yourself either a fake, an outdated user, or simply someone who is not really interested in meeting new people.

But you should bear one particular fact in mind: Practically no women will announce on their profile that they are looking for easy sex.

Men are, more often than not, pretty direct. Women are somewhat subtler when it comes to these things. Whether men ever get what they crave so much for with statements like “down to fuck” is highly questionable.

Conclusion: Women in New Zealand have a different mentality than men. While men proceed in a reckless and forthright fashion, women go for the more subtle flirt tactics.

Your profile is the be-all and end-all if casual sex is your goal. If you waste your time with boring, l uninspiring statements, you’ll get no attention whatsoever, simply because there will always be other men out there putting in more work.

But with the right choice of words and some choice photos, it is actually quite easy to draw female attention your way.

The way forward…

Words are more important to women than looks.

But this doesn’t mean that photos are meaningless, after all, studies show that profiles without photos or with poor quality photos attract almost no attention. And with excuses such as, “I can’t reveal my face because I need to protect my career” you’re basically just shooting yourself in the foot.

Don’t want to give anything away about yourself online?

You really don’t have to. Stick on some sunglasses to hide your eyes, but never hide your face or use only body shots.

For success with casual dating in New Zealand, one thing is especially important: and that’s the way you interact with women on the platform.

Here’s how not to do it…

Sentences like: “I am polite, low-maintenance and good in bed” are boring and lazy, and many, many men go for similar statements on their profile.

So what should you write instead? Express what it is that makes you unique.

"In my free time I am passionate about Salsa and am happiest enjoying the fresh air taking my dog for a walk, especially with stimulating company"

So why is this last example so much better than the first on a no-strings app? After all, sex hasn’t been mentioned at all. But this is precisely the key to your success. The last example reveals a little about yourself as an individual but leaves room for the lady to fill in the gaps.

So what do women read from this kind of a statement?

Latin American rhythm suggests passion and dancing conveys a degree of emotional intelligence, so you come across as well-grounded here. What’s more, you show that you are interested in more than simply having sex with someone – a nice walk together with the dog for instance.

But there is even more than meets the eye…

Certain words act as triggers, planting positive connotations in the mind of the reader.

A study of online dating apps came to the result that men using specific formulations in their profile receive far more interest from women than those that do not consider word choice. Particularly useful words include: together, reliable, artistic, red wine, friends, technically gifted, kiss.

So why do these words in particular have such an effect?

NZ Women are attracted to social, diverse and open-minded men. An interest in culture and art on the other hand are associated with high-status, whereas technical skills hint at a man that likes to help.

An empty profile, however, demonstrates only a lack of interest and creativity. The women reading the profile will inevitably come to the conclusion that the owner of this particular profile will be terrible in bed.

So now you know how to get the best out of your profile on the online casual sex scene. In this section, we will be focusing on how to get involved with the “right” women, so as to hit the target as soon as possible.

Men often complain that most women do not respond to them.

But why does this happen to men?

The problem is, most men go straight for the most attractive woman they can find and send them a message. What this does is completely overwhelm the woman, who simply can’t even begin to respond to a fraction of the messages. If a man happens to get a response, it really is a case of having luck.

So how can you proceed a little more intelligently?

Take a closer look at the profiles and contact women that perhaps at a first glance you might not go for. A lot of the time, there’s a lot more going on behind the photo.

There are a lot of pretty women on these platforms, even if they are not showing cleavage, short skirts and curves.

And the icing on the cake:

You’ll very often find that the sex is much better. These women are less full of themselves and far more humble than those that receive all the messages.

What else can you do to increase your chances?

Lots! Most importantly, you need to read profiles very carefully, not just for conversation starters, but to see how you match in terms of personality, desires and hobbies.

For example:

You made it abundantly clear that you want a hot redhead that likes wearing lingerie. So why would you be messaging a lady with black hair?

Contradictory statements don’t come across particularly well, because you sound weak, unscrupulous and sex-starved.

If you aren’t going for anything specific – this redhead for example – then write something diplomatic:

“I have a thing for redheads, but I also have a thing for women in general”.

And it works the other way round:

If a woman is asking for something specific, and you aren’t that specific thing, the chances of you hooking up are remote at best.

How do you deal with rejection on casual dating sites?

Don’t let it grind you down! Being rejected simply means that they weren’t the one for you, that it’s some other guys chance and not yours. Rejection is something even the most successful guys meet on a regular basis.

Carry on reading for yet more advice on hooking up with single women.

And now we reach your most important task when it comes to hooking a date: Striking up conversations with the women that interest you.

The most important consideration:

Do not dive straight into a conversation about sex, rather, skirt round the topic.

This is not going to work:

“Hey there, I really like your profile. Fancy hooking up and seeing what I am like in bed?”

You’ll simply blow your chances with this kind of an approach. Even less likely to work is giving your mobile number out straight away.

So how should you go about it then?

As you’ve already learned, when it comes to free casual sex, NZ women much prefer to approach with tact and to get to know a man first. Discovering your sexual prowess comes much later.

At the start, your job is to wake her curiosity and to make her want to know more about you. Say something about yourself. And while you are chatting, you can gradually become more flirty and provocative:  For example:

“Hi, my name is Jack, I read your profile and had to send you a message. Do you want to hear some chat up lines or can we jump straight to getting to know each other better;)”

And don’t forget to implement some of these trigger words we discussed earlier.  Let her know what you like doing with your friends or what your friends like about you. In this way, you can give your potential date a vivid idea of who you are as a person.

Miriam: When I am sexually attracted to a man, I obviously want to know what makes him tick. What are his most interesting personality traits. How does he see himself? In what social circles does he move? And the chat function is perfectly suited to find these things out. The most important thing though, is that the guy is authentic. He has to be himself.

Once you have arranged a date, you are a step nearer to your goal.

So what’s the first date all about?

For the first date we recommend that you choose somewhere public, for example in a restaurant or a cafe or a bar. Under no circumstances should you meeting each other at your homes.

Basically, what you are doing is testing out whether the two of you will click, whether there is enough in common and whether you are drawn to each other before you jump into bed. But the first signs are clearly going your way, after all, something brought you both from the online chat to a real date.

But what is the biggest problem when it comes to casual sex dating?

The biggest “problem” that most pairs experience is making that smooth, seamless transition from the date to the bedroom.

So how do ensure this works out?

You need to wait for the perfect moment and go in for the kiss. When you feel that the moment is right, don’t hesitate and just go for it. All you need is a little courage.
It’s just a case of developing a certain feeling between the two of you, and for you to feel that the time is right.

And how do you know that the time is right?

Nothing could be easier. You could, for example, initiate some contact and judge the atmosphere this way – nothing too forward, a touch on her arm or hand briefly.

When you initiate contact, make sure you pay attention to her reaction. Pay attention to her body language and how she looks at you. If all is going well, she’ll return the gesture and initiate more of this closeness. When this happens, you are on the way to that exciting hookup ;-)

Sarah: Take the initiative with a man I want to sleep with and go in for the kiss?  No way. Men usually don’t know how to react, they weren’t expecting it. And anyway, nothing is more of a turn on than a man who knows what he wants. Being self-assured and confident is so attractive. Bottom line is, you got to go with the guy who takes the lead here.“