Online dating scam detection made easy

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Key Takeaways:

  • Love scamming involves feigning interest and feelings in order to gain trust
  • Love scamming is one of the most common scams in online dating
  • To detect love scammers, look out for insatiable interest, new profiles, catalog-like pictures, and a touching life story
  • Be wary if someone asks for money or a video chat is refused
  • Avoid responding to requests for money transfers and report suspicious activity to the website operator

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Ever since the Internet crept into our lives, one thing in particular has shifted to the virtual world: the search for a partner. Looking at various surveys on the subject quickly tells us that around one third of Kiwis have tried online dating. Thus, getting to know each other via dating apps and dating sites ranks second among the places where singles meet.

However, dating sites also bring together people who are not what they pretend to be. Anyone who now thinks of fake profiles undergoing a glow-up probably has the harmless version of fakes in mind. What kind of users we mean? Those who sign up with fraudulent intentions and shamelessly exploit the situation of singles. The so-called love scammers are a real problem in today's world and perform a type of online dating scam where they only want the best of their counterpart: Their cash!

To familiarize you with this current trend of scam, we have gathered everything you need to know about "love scamming" in this article. We'll tell you not only what it's all about, but also how to recognize such profiles and how to protect yourself from them.

For this purpose, we will cover the following points:

  1. Love scamming - what is it?
  2. The most common scam in online dating
  3. Recognizing online dating scams - here's how to do it
  4. How to protect yourself from love scamming

Ready to get on the scammers' trail?

1. Love Scamming - what is it?

Before explaining how to recognize this online dating scam, we need to clarify what it is all about. The same scam is also known as "romance scamming" and means that scammers pretend to be in love with you. What sounds like everyday life in some daily soap opera at first glance has become a real problem in reality. Even the police are now warning about the scamming trend on websites and trying to educate users.

However, there is a strict distinction between two types of love scammers. For example, some dating sites use paid moderators. These are dating profiles, which are actually run by a real person - but their job is merely to keep the users hooked. It is not uncommon for singles to pay 30-80 NZ Dollars a month to meet someone online. Accordingly, the moderators ensure through their messages that members maintain their membership in order to be able to chat with them. People often don't realize until weeks later that they will never get a real date. However, in the meantime, they have extended their membership term and committed themselves to the platform for another six months. Here, the scammer profiles have done a great job.

And the other form of love scamming?

While dating sites often state in their T&Cs that they use paid profiles, they can do worse. This online dating scam is reminiscent of a form of marriage scam, but it takes place exclusively online. It is a scam from which even older women who are looking for a young man are not safe from. They meet someone online who makes them feel special. The women receive compliments that trigger exactly the right reactions. And before they know it, they are all fired up and in love. That’s when the love scamming trap closes on them.

Then comes the demands and requests....

The scammers are masters of their craft and know exactly what messages to write. They ensnare their victims, flatter them and feign interest. Anyone who has tried online dating knows how good this kind of validation feels.

And what happens next?

While the chat is all about moving in together and plans for the future, it never actually leads to a date. Instead, messages flutter into the inbox, the content of which consists of how badly the person is doing financially. Be it a sudden stroke of fate or a family member who has fallen ill. But these are all problems that can be solved with a certain amount of money. And who transfers the sum with a smile? Right - the women who think that after that they can finally hold their Don Juan in their arms.

You probably already know that these stories do not end with a happy ending, but with a charge of online dating fraud.

Love scamming is the type of scam that involves feigning interest and feelings in order to gain the trust of the other person. When this occurs, financial demands and requests come into play, which you should never follow.

Does that happen often?

2. The most common scams in online dating

In fact, love scamming is one of the most common scams in online dating and almost a trend among scammers. And another shocking fact: this scam is not unique to dating platforms. Even in social media like Facebook or Instagram, there are love scammers appearing again and again. Here, too, the scammers specifically select victims whose profiles make it seem like they fit their prey pattern.

You may have probably received an ominous message from a stranger who was eager to get to know you. Especially nowadays, when we experience a huge increase of people from other countries, new doors open for scammers. Have you, as a man, received a message from a pretty young woman who is new in New Zealand and needs financial help? You should always be alert as soon as money gets involved.

Since this online dating scam does not only apply to dating sites, it is one of the most common scams to shamelessly fleece singles. The number of love scammer scams has literally skyrocketed, all the more so within the past few pandemic years.

You don't want to fall into the trap and want to know how to recognize such profiles?

3. Recognizing online dating scams - here's how

Now that you are aware of how this online dating scam looks and works, the next step is to protect yourself. Don't worry, there are several points by which you can tell if it is a love scammer. So, you don't have to give up meeting someone online in the future if you keep the following things in mind:                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     

  • The interest of the other person is insatiable
  • It is quite a new profile
  • The pictures resemble those from a catalog
  • A touching life story
  • Your counterpart is too attentive and charming

The interest of the other person is insatiable

Of course, everyone in online dating wants a counterpart who is also interested in you. But interest that turns into a kind of spying? This could be an indication that there is a love scammer on the other side who wants to find out everything about you. After all, when it comes to this online dating scam, it is essential to study your victim thoroughly. So, you should be on your guard if the questions seem too personal or you have an uneasy feeling about answering them. Information about previous relationships in particular is often used to promise you that it won't go down that way this time.

It's a fairly new profile

One point to keep in mind on social media as well. Are you being messaged by a profile that has only been up for a few days and has a weird friends list as well? It should definitely raise a red flag. Anyone who registers on Facebook and Co. does not randomly write to other users after just a few days. In general, you should always take a critical look at the profile of your counterpart. Cryptic sentences that simply don't make sense? Maybe a love scammer is trying to complete the profile with internet translators.

The pictures resemble those from a catalog

When going through their profile you consistently come across genuine snapshots? Once you see only pictures that look like they are from a catalog and focus only on appearance, you should be careful. The people behind this online dating scam often simply use photos from the web. In this case, you should always use the image search of a search engine. This will help you find out whether the photo was stolen from the Internet.

A touching life story

To lure their victims into the trap, love scammers get extremely creative. They come up with a complete life story for their fictitious character. The most popular ones are numerous strokes of fate, in which they are pursued by bad luck. You can already guess that something will happen to them again in the near future. But fortunately, you are there now and ready to help the person get out of any predicament. Is your counterpart regaling you with a touching and heartbreaking story about how rent arrears are piling up? Don't even consider the idea of making any payment here. Love scammers are excellent at telling you a sad story to scam your sympathy.

Your counterpart is too attentive and charming

Your counterpart really goes into every point of your messages and is the epitome of perfection when it comes to attention? Or maybe it's just to lull you into a sense of security. The more attentive a scammer is, the faster victims reveal more private things about themselves. On top of that, they blindly agree with you over and over again and really ensnare you in the process? Beware, as they know exactly how to lure you into a trap and what you want to read.

4. How to protect yourself from love scamming

Before you start thinking about canceling all your subscriptions on dating sites, here comes the good news: you can easily protect yourself from love scammers

There is nothing wrong with being happy about a new acquaintance on the Internet. Many are already on fire after just a few messages and can hardly wait for another chat with their crush. However, the moment words like payment, bills or money come into play, the ripcord should be pulled.

Another way to expose this online dating scam: ask for a short video check. Most dating services have offered the option to video chat since Covid-19 at the latest. Does your counterpart vehemently reject this and always finds new excuses to avoid the cam? Then you should become skeptical and check it out.

Serious platforms already do their best to expose and ban such profiles from the beginning. But sometimes such a profile can also slip through the fingers of employees, and this is where you come in. You notice a suspicious behavior in the chat or were even already asked for a certain amount? Then report such users to the website operator. It is important that you never respond to the request for a money transfer. And if you want to make a love scammer sweat, insist on a personal transfer, which they will probably refuse as well.

To summarize

So, love scamming is a scam where scammers pretend to be truly interested in their victims. Be it on dating sites that use paid profiles to retain members or the far worse variant. Here, the aim is not to retain singles to a platform, but to emotionally hook them and then make insane requests for money.

Fortunately, such profiles can be easily identified by a few points. You should therefore always pay close attention to the profiles of the members and pay special attention to the pictures. Use the reverse image search on Google, for example, and find out if they have stolen photos from the net. Always make sure to never reveal too personal things, as you are providing important information to the scammers. Your counterpart is full of euphoria and showers you with compliments? Even then, be careful, because the attention can be used to elicit further information from you. Therefore, always approach the matter with a skeptical eye and maintain a healthy distance.



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