Are hook-up apps just a rip-off?
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Key Takeaways:
- Hook-up apps may be incorrectly thought of as rip-offs
- Membership is usually free for women and men have to pay
- Watch out: Scammers take advantage of this opportunity and create fake female profiles
- There are a few reputable providers in New Zealand such as C-Date
- Women use hook-up apps to feel desired and to and to gain new erotic experiences
- Discretion is usually guaranteed with reputable providers
- Sex dating requires initiative, politeness, and respect
- First dates often end in sex if messaging went well
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When it comes to hook-up apps, it’s not uncommon to hear statements from guys like "It's all a rip-off" or "They’re all only fake profiles, anyway."  The reason: Membership on these portals is usually free for women, while men have to dig deep into their pockets. That’s because free memberships make women more likely to sign up for hook-up apps, while men are typically willing to pay a little to satisfy their curiosity.
However, there is also a serious disadvantage: scammers take advantage of this opportunity and create female profiles to trick unsuspecting men. These scammers try to guide men to other paid sites or engage in other types of fraud. They often are only pretending to be women interested in meeting men – and they come with conditions, such as forwarding them money to pay for rent before the first date.
In this article, we’ll deal more intensively with the topic of hook-up apps. Are there any reputable outfits at all and what motivates women to sign up on such apps? To get to the bottom of things, we asked ourselves the following questions:
Ready to find answers to these questions? Okay, here we go!
1. Are there any hook-up apps that aren’t rip-offs?
First, let's address the question of all questions and find out if there are any reputable hook-up apps. After all, the number of providers and portals is already so large, you can easily lose the overview. To make sure you're on the safe side from the moment you sign up, we'll introduce you to hook-up apps that are anything but a rip-off.
Minor spoiler: Even with reputable hook-up apps, arranging to hook up still requires patience and initiative. Especially as a man, you can't expect women to pounce on you and shower you with invitations. Keep one thing in mind: Women receive dozens of messages and requests every day. So you have to stand out from the crowd of competitors to increase your chances of an erotic encounter.
But now back to the topic and the question whether there are hook-up apps that are not rip-offs. And yes, there are. Definitely. You've probably even heard of one of the most reputable and well-known providers in this segment, as they openly advertise. Who are we talking about here? Of course, C-Date – the site where the name says it all (“C” is for “casual sex”). But this hook-up app isn’t the only place to meet erotic contacts. BeNaughty is another provider that really means it. Now let’s take a quick look at the respective apps and their potential.
C-Date: Casual dating is the name of the game here
C-Date has been around since 2008 and specializes in giving its users the chance to make non-binding erotic contacts. The approximately 25,000 new users who register on c-date every date are a sign that this place is a major player in casual dating. In addition, there is a fairly balanced gender ratio here. With 48 percent women and 52 percent men, your chances of finding someone for no-strings sex are good. The registration and the first steps are completely free for men. Since use is entirely free for women, fake profiles pop up now and then, but the administrators do everything in their power to prevent them.
BeNaughty: Live cam chats and hook-ups
Similar to C-date, BeNaughty has become well-known through a lot of advertising. Its member base is large, and the platform therefore boasts above-average activity. The special feature of BeNaughty is that you can search for real hook-ups here, but also have fun with erotic chats and cybersex at the same time. Why not have fun in front of the computer while you’re seeking a hook-up? Men who tend to be a little shy love the portal. They can often have their first erotic experiences with a woman here, without having to meet her right away.
What do all hook-up sites usually have in common? For one thing, they allow you to make your pictures visible only to selected users. This also provides the desired discretion, which is an important part of the search for hook-ups. It’s especially women who attach great importance to not being visible to everyone.
And that brings us to the next question...
2. Why do women sign up for hook-up apps?
If not all women jump at pick-up lines and immediately agree to noncommittal sex, then why are they on sex dating apps at all?
This is a question many men ask themselves, especially after they’ve first tried casual dating and are unsuccessful. The good news is that most women who sign up on erotic sites are actually looking for no-strings-attached adventures.
But...
Just because it's about uncomplicated fun doesn't mean they aren't picky. There may be some isolated cases of people who are just looking for validation or cybersex. However, those who have real intentions don’t want to have sex with just anyone. They are looking for men they find attractive and with whom they can imagine physical contact. Men, on the other hand, are generally less picky when choosing sex partners and are just happy to be successful.
So if it doesn't work out right away, it doesn't mean you’re just being led on or that these sites are all a rip-off. Maybe your profile doesn't fit what she’s looking for; maybe the chemistry isn’t right. After all, eroticism often begins in the head and if it does not play along, it does not come to a real meeting.
Now there is still the question...
3. What attracts women to a one-night stand?
While men are primarily interested in having fun and satisfying their sex drive, the reasons for women are different. But why do they enter into a no-strings-attached arrangement at all? And then there’s the question of how they feel after a one-night stand.
To get to the bottom of these questions, we took a look at a study by "Human Nature." A total of 1743 men and women were asked how they felt after a one-night stand. The result: only 43 percent of the participants said they felt good afterwards. 47 percent, on the other hand, said they felt used after a night of casual sex. For them, the experience left them feeling looked-down on.
That means the majority regretted it afterwards – But then why did they even take the leap?
There are many reasons to knowingly go into a one-night-stand. Of course, women’s reasons are often the same as for men: sexual needs, curiosity, and gaining experience. In addition, however, women sometimes seek confirmation they’re sexy through one-night stands. Understandable. What’s better than feeling desirable? Although this might be a fleeting feeling, because as the study proves, many don’t feel so great afterwards.
4. Does sex dating cost anything? And if so, why?
We’ll counter this question with our own: Does it cost anything to order drinks in bars? People who go cruising bars on weekends usually need a certain budget to gain entry to clubs. Drinks aren’t cheap – you might rack up a nice sum over the course of an evening. And even that doesn't mean it was worth the expense.
So what does this have to do with hook-up apps?
The advantage with hook-up apps is that you can typically register and make a profile for free. That means you can make all the basic arrangements without investing a single penny. Essentially you get free access, while in clubs you have to pay admission just to get in the door.
To use the contact functions, however, you need a paid membership. And here comes the point: While it might feel like a lot to dole out for a monthly membership, you’d probably blow this amount in one evening in a bar or club. So with a paid membership you spend the same amount of money to get more opportunities to look around and make contacts for the whole month.
But there’s no physical location – why are there costs, in the first place?
The administrators of a reputable hook-up app also have ongoing costs that need to be covered. These include server rent and support functions that must be paid. These are fixed monthly costs the provider has to cover – without transferring some of these costs to the users, there’d be no site. In return, you get the chance to search for erotic contacts for the entire month, on your own schedule.
A little tip: If you opt for a longer membership, you can lower the monthly costs and get even more for your money.
5. Are sex dating apps discreet?
This question cannot be answered “yes” across the board – there are always black sheep. It always depends on which provider and which hook-up app you choose.
If you choose sites such as C-Date or BeNaughty , you don't have to worry about discretion. You decide for yourself how discreet you want to be in your search for a hook-up. On C-Date, for example, all photos are first displayed pixelated and require individual activation.
As long as you choose a reputable site, discretion is guaranteed. However, what happens within the chat and when getting to know each other is solely your responsibility. If you’re sending intimate photos and then a face shot after three messages, that’s on you – how you use the site has nothing to do with discretion on the part of the provider.
But how does sex dating via app actually work?
6. How do I arrange a hook-up in app?
So, I just sign up for a hook-up app and wait for pretty women to invite me home? That’s definitely wishful thinking, because the truth is that sex dating requires a lot of initiative and a certain amount of sensitivity. Many men make the mistake of thinking that uploading one or two pictures and leaving a sentence of profile information is enough.
Then comes the inevitable disappointment...
You wait in vain and even messaging leads to nothing. But how do you do this, anyway – How do you arrange a hook-up in an app?
Profile design
The most important thing is that you take your time creating your profile. The time you invest here will pay off when searching and getting to know each other.
One mistake a lot of men make: they don’t attach importance to a detailed and interesting profile design. Fuzzy pictures, half-hearted check marks, and descriptions that are meaningless and boring.
Be open and honest about your sexual preferences to find contacts who share your kinks. After all, the primary goal is to satisfy erotic needs, right?
Establishing contact and interest
As we mentioned, hook-ups also require a certain amount of initiative. Even with an appealing profile, you can't always wait for women to make the first move.
Use the various filters to search specifically for contacts who share your preferences and sexual interests. And try not to be superficial in your search – look outside the box!
When making contact, it’s important to send messages. Look at their profile beforehand and touch on the information there in the first message. You both have a preference for bondage? Then use this point as a hook and avoid boring messages that are only "Hey, how are you?"
Show interest and respond to messages. Women want an understanding partner for a one-night stand who responds to their wishes and interests. Don't be pushy when getting to know someone in chat – remember to go with the flow.
7. How many dates before you have sex?
Everyone works differently, so it’s difficult to make a blanket statement about this. However, when meeting on a hook-up app, the first encounter often ends in bed.
It all depends on how messaging on the app went and how much information was exchanged. Maybe you’ve already had a video chat to get a first look at the other person. In such cases, the first meet-up is often the date that’s capped off by sex. After all, a one-night stand means that you decide on a no-strings-attached meet-up – nobody here wants to go window-shopping together or have dinner with the parents.
In plain language: the more intensively you use the hook-up app to get to know each other, the more likely it is that the first date will end in the bedroom. That’s just one more reason to make an effort online and do everything you can to present yourself from your best side.
In conclusion
To clarify the initial question: No, not all hook-up apps are rip-offs and there are definitely reputable providers. The more important questions are which provider you choose and how you go about your search.
It’s important to take your time to create an appealing profile and be active in the search. Politeness and respect also play an important role when you are looking for hook-ups. Just because women want to satisfy their erotic needs doesn't make them easy prey.