Fit for online dating: The 10 most important questions and answers

While some people swear by online dating, others see it as a waste of time. But why is it that some singles are successful on this path and some almost despair? Can online dating work for anyone at all, or is it almost a privilege to sign up for a dating platform and then make contacts effortlessly?

It's a topic that has kept our editorial team's heads spinning, and that's why we've taken an in-depth look at it. In the end, we came up with ten questions that demanded answers, which we naturally don't want to deprive you of. In this article, we'll cover these questions and provide you with the answers you need.

These are our most important questions about online dating:

1. Can online dating work at all?
2. How do I start a chat in online dating?
3. Is it acceptable to write to more than one person at a time when online dating?
4. How can I ask for a date when online dating?
5. Do I have to ask for the (WhatsApp) number when online dating?
6. How soon should I arrange a first date?
7. What are appropriate topics of conversation and good questions to ask on a date?
8. How can I keep a conversation going?
9. How do I say goodbye after the first date?
10. What should I do after the first date?

Are you as curious as we were? Then let's go through each question together and get you ready for online dating!

1. Can online dating work at all?

The most important question first: can online dating work or is it actually a waste of time?

There is even a study from the University of Vienna and Essex that proves that online dating actually not only works in fact, it has changed our society for good and helped break down cultural barriers to dating. Even more so, the study proves that relationships formed through online dating tend to last longer.

Signing up for a dating platform automatically increases your reach. People you would never consciously meet in everyday life are suddenly within reach. What's more, online dating has made long-distance relationships more popular again. Who else would come up with the idea of driving two cities away to find a partner?

The chance of being successful in the search via a dating site is therefore even statistically higher than that of meeting the right partner in everyday life.

So: Can online dating work? This is a question that we can answer with a resounding yes.

2. How do I start a chat in online dating?

We have skipped the detailed profile part at this point. It should be clear that a detailed profile is the basis for getting any attention at all. Let's assume you know the tips and tricks on how to write a good description and how to choose appealing pictures of yourself.

Admittedly: The way you start a chat in online dating always depends on the person you're talking to. If you come across a profile that has nothing to say, it will be difficult to find the right starting points for an interesting conversation. But if you're serious about it, you'll make an effort with your profile design and want to make sure that it catches the eye of other members. In this way, you can quickly recognize who is really looking for a partner and who is probably only looking for affirmation.

Let's say you find the following profile description:

"I like to spend my free time in nature and come back down after a busy day with a walk. I want a partner with whom I can steal horses and who ideally shares my passion for city trips."

A description like this is a real jackpot, because you get a lot of information. The person likes to go for walks and apparently has a stressful everyday life. On top of that, you know that she likes to visit cities and is looking for an adventurous partner.

So, you have the freedom of choice and can pick out a point to use when starting the conversation.

A small example:

"Hey XY,

I read on your profile that you like to travel to cities. What's the coolest place you've discovered so far?"

This directly shows that you have read the description carefully and also directly shows interest in the hobby.

It is always advisable to take a thorough look at the profile and look for information there to start a conversation. An absolute no-go, however, are the widespread "Hey, how are you, what are you doing?" messages.

Your counterpart should be able to tell right away that you haven't sent the message to ten other singles at the same time. A personal approach is always better than a flat "Hello".

3. Is it acceptable to write to more than one person at a time when online dating?

This question divides opinions, and there were heated discussions in our editorial department as well. Is it okay to write to several people at the same time when online dating, or is monogamy the order of the day?

It all depends...

Once you sign up on a dating platform and it comes to the first chat, the probability is very low that it's the jackpot. Also, by contacting someone, you are not directly committing yourself to leaving all the other singles out in the cold. You can assume that your counterpart also has more than one iron in the fire at this time. It is not reprehensible to look around in parallel and not just limit yourself to the one contact.

But.

As soon as the conversation deepens and you write several times a day, bring in the fishing rod. At a certain point of getting to know each other, you should actually focus only on that one person. After all, you seem to find each other too interesting to be constantly reaching for your cell phones and texting. 

4. How can I ask for a date when online dating?

A question that makes many people despair. Is it perhaps too early to ask or should you rather wait until your counterpart brings up a date. Who actually asks for a first date and when is the right time?

This is a question that cannot be answered in general terms. After all, when getting to know each other, the pace varies. While there are singles who prefer to make a quick date and get to know each other face to face, there are also those who prefer to write for a while.

Here, the best answer is to trust your gut. Maybe there are signs that you are just waiting to be asked. Messages in which your counterpart repeatedly mentions romantic walks or a picnic may serve as a hidden invitation. Attention is required here, because you often find out in this way how the first date could be planned.

However, it is not advisable to ask for a meeting after only two or three messages. Experience shows that you should first take the opportunity to gather relevant information during the chat. The more you learn about the other person, the easier it is for you to find ideas for the first meeting. 

5. Do I have to ask for the (WhatsApp) number when online dating?

Can you ask for the number while online dating or should you rather limit yourself to the chat of the platform? If you have been talking to each other on the dating portal for some time and have been exchanging messages on an almost daily basis, you should take this step. It's certainly not a question you should ask after just a few days - but it's one you shouldn't put off for too long.

At a certain point, your potential dating partner will probably expect you to take this step. You get along great in the chat and seem to be completely on the same wavelength? Then ask for the cell phone number after one or two weeks. You can also take this opportunity to ask for a phone call, so that you don't just limit getting to know each other by exchanging messages.

Of course, it can also happen that you get a temporary rejection at that moment. Especially women who have had bad experiences in the past are extremely cautious about giving out their phone number. Here you have to accept her attitude and stay on point. Show understanding by letting her know that she can just give you her number when she feels ready. It would be a mistake to be pushy at this point. This could be more likely to scare your counterpart away. 

6. How soon should I arrange a first date?

Speed is an aspect that depends entirely on you and your partner. In addition, it is crucial whether you are looking for a serious partner or for erotic pleasure. In most cases, the former requires a lot of patience before a first date can take place. In casual dating, on the other hand, it cannot go fast enough for many members.

Many register on dating sites and hope to get their first date just a few days later. However, it usually takes around two weeks before a first meeting in real life takes place. Not only is a date a sign of true interest - it's also a matter of planning and not something singles throw their entire daily lives overboard for.

There are isolated members who prefer to meet right away and thus find out whether the chemistry is really right. However, most users are only interested in getting to know the other person online. So, if you have serious intentions, patience is something you definitely need to bring along.

Perhaps your counterpart belongs to the faction that would rather sound out the situation over a cup of coffee. But maybe it's also one of the members who would like to find out whether the chemistry is right and the spark is there during an extended chat.

7. What are appropriate topics of conversation and good questions to ask on a date?

Are you one of those people who rack their brains before a date about what are suitable topics of conversation and good questions to ask on a date? Then we have a few ideas for you so that you can be more relaxed in the future.

Being nervous before a date is something natural and even beautiful. After all, it means that you care about the outcome of the meeting. With the right preparation, you'll make sure that there won't be any awkward silences and you'll always have some cool topics of conversation ready. The most important thing is that you know the interests of your counterpart, so you already have enough clues about interesting topics. Take another look at your dating partner's profile and read through the chat history again. Maybe you will find areas that can be deepened in a conversation and at the same time clarify your interest.

Tell a little about yourself and think about which moments from your life you would like to share. Be it funny anecdotes about yourself or exciting topics that touch you. This way, you can largely determine for yourself what image your counterpart has of you. Common interests are also always a good starting point for a conversation and should definitely be included in the conversation. Share your dreams and plans with your dating partner, because the main thing is to set your sights on a common plan for the future. It is almost obligatory to know the plans and visions of your potential partner.

As far as questions are concerned, there is also a wide range that you can have ready. For example, you know that your counterpart travels a lot? Then you have a whole portfolio of questions at your disposal. Here's a little incentive:

• What's the most beautiful place you've ever traveled to?

• Which vacation would you describe as a little horror trip?

• Which wishes would you still like to fulfill?

• What was the most beautiful moment in your life?

By asking specific questions, you not only show your interest, you also learn many important things about your dating partner.

8. How can I keep a conversation going?

What's worse on a date than those moments when awkward silence reigns? Both look furtively into each other's eyes and are just waiting for the silence to be broken.

It's a situation you can prevent with the right conversation starter. Rather, by applying a questioning technique and thus leaving no time for pauses at all.

You asked your date about the most beautiful moment in life and received a detailed answer? With this statement, there are certainly other points where you can follow up. Listen actively, show repeatedly through short follow-up questions that you follow your counterpart thoughtfully and look for further starting points to ask follow-up questions.

This is why it is also advisable not to talk constantly yourself. On the one hand, this can seem rather egotistical, and on the other hand, you will directly waste all your preparation. Give your counterpart plenty of speaking time and use the statements to turn it into a clever question-and-answer game.

9. How do I say goodbye after the first date?

How did the date go? Did you manage to keep the conversation going and get a smile out of your counterpart every now and then? Then you should at least overlook a handshake and consider the possibility of a hug.

Hoping for a goodbye kiss might be asking too much on a first date. However, provided you had a good time together and laughed a lot, the hug is the logical next step. Maybe your date even decides to give you a kiss on the cheek, which is already a true success.

You've already gotten closer during the date and repeatedly touched each other or exchanged intense glances? Take a look at her eyes when you say goodbye, because they can tell you a lot at that moment. If your counterpart is permanently looking at your lips, it is a sign that they are hoping for a kiss. Body language is crucial when saying goodbye and you should observe it closely. 

10. What should I do after the first date?

There are many dating gurus who claim that you should wait after a date. But wouldn't that show that it didn't mean much to you or that you didn't enjoy it?

Exactly - and for this very reason, you shouldn't wait long at all. Write shortly afterwards that you enjoyed the evening and hope that the other person felt the same way. You may not be the first to get this idea, and you may receive a message shortly after saying goodbye. Even in this case, you should not be the cool one and reply days later.

In any case, after a successful date you should write to your dating partner and ask whether there might be a next date. Based on the response, you will quickly realize whether you have left a lasting impression.

In summary

The questions and answers we have mentioned are definitely not a recipe for success. However, they will help you to better understand the topic of online dating. Heed our tips and you will find that it is much easier for you to make new contacts.

Online dating is something you shouldn't rush into if your intentions are serious. Take a close look at the profiles of interesting singles and find the information that is suitable to start a conversation. Common interests or questions about yourself are always a good starting point for overcoming the hurdles of getting to know someone online.