The whole truth about online dating
When it comes to dating, we can't get around online dating these days. Research shows that almost half of all singles are now looking for their next partner via dating sites. And yet, opinions differ when it comes to the topic of "success in online dating".
In this article, we try to bring light into the darkness and address various questions about online dating. What do dating sites really offer and how to find the right platform with such a large range of offers? Are you ready to face the unvarnished truth about online dating?
In this article, we highlight the most important questions about online dating:
Ready to find answers to these questions? Let's dive in!
1. Is online dating good against loneliness?
When it comes to loneliness, online dating is a double-edged sword that should be wielded with caution. Of course, it's tempting to lie on the sofa in the evening and go online dating to fight loneliness. Just swipe left and right a bit and hope that someone will swipe in the same direction. And this is exactly where the danger lurks, says relationship psychologists: What happens if there are no matches or no responses to contacts?
In particular, people who have been unintentionally single for a long period of time can develop negative thoughts like "No one wants me, so there must be something wrong with me." The self-doubt that may have existed before grows and one's self-perception becomes more and more negative.
However, those who have just gone through a breakup and are just looking for a little change from the new feeling of loneliness will have fewer problems with this. Whereas, there is also the danger that there will not be matches right away and that this will create a negative self-perception. It always depends on the reasons why the relationship failed.
So, is online dating good against loneliness?
This is a question that cannot be answered in a general way, because it always depends on the person. Anyone who is generally already dissatisfied with himself and his life, should perhaps rather keep his hands off online dating and first come clean with himself. Because it can be very frustrating if there are no matches and interesting contacts after a few days or weeks.
2. Advantages and disadvantages: Online Dating vs. Real Life!
Like everything, online dating has its advantages and disadvantages. But what are they and is real life dating perhaps better after all?
Let's first take a look at online dating and its facets....
Anyone who decides to sign up on a dating site wants to think outside the ordinary box. After all, unlike Real Life, online dating allows for a much wider search radius. Singles you might otherwise never meet suddenly appear on your screen. But that's not all, because anyone who signs up for a dating site is certainly serious, right? Unfortunately, this is not always the case, as there are also singles who are merely looking for confirmation online or perhaps are just looking for some erotic pleasure. However, the choice of a dating platform is also to blame, as there are serious differences here. Dating agencies like eHarmony charge a fee, but help their users with qualified contact suggestions to make their partner search more successful.
Dating websites, on the other hand, often offer a limited selection of free functions, but leave members on their own. Here, various search functions are available, with which users can design their own search. In both cases, however, it is a great advantage, as you meet singles that you may not run across in everyday life. And on top of that, you know directly that they are singles.
The advantages of online dating:
- The search radius and the selection become larger
- People can leave their comfort zone more easily
- Profile information gives a first impression
- Search is limited to singles
- Much higher chances of finding someone in the long term
But there are also disadvantages that should not be overlooked. Online dating has made falling in love like a consumer good and dating like online shopping. Due to the immense selection of potential partners, the joy of decision-making decreases. Although contact A is really terrific, contact B also has its advantages. Maybe contact C will come along and surpass everything. And in the end, the sobering conclusion is that the hoped-for contact doesn't come and the two options have long since lost interest.
The disadvantages of online dating:
- What feels good while online doesn't necessarily hold up in real life
- More consumerism than dating
- The danger of meeting fakes and scammers
The very anonymity of online dating is like an invitation for scammers to mingle with the singles. That is why it is especially important to check out the providers and their reliability in advance.
And how does it look in real life?
It's not as if there are advantages and disadvantages only in online dating. In fact, the disadvantages are obvious: there is a much more limited choice, which is reduced to everyday acquaintances - and you never know if a person is really single! Maybe you've already summoned up all your courage and approached a person on the street. Only to hear that he or she is taken. That can't happen to you with online dating, because here you know directly that they are singles.
The disadvantages in real life:
- A limited choice
- Relationship status unknown
- No information in advance
- If you are shy, you will not approach anyone in everyday life
- No discretion
But there are not only disadvantages in dating, but also advantages. One particular advantage is that you can tell right away whether the personal chemistry is right. While in online dating you never know if it is really the person on the profile, there is no such problem in real-life dating.
The advantages of real-life dating:
- You see the person directly with your own eyes
- It turns out faster if the chemistry fits
- Facial expressions and gestures are more revealing than emojis and messages
Both have their advantages and disadvantages. But if we take a closer look, the online dating vs. real-life approach tends to win out in the end.
3. What are the usual success rates when it comes to online dating?
This question cannot be answered simply because there is no usable data. However, eHarmony is one portal that can quantify its success rate. The dating agency boasts a proud 40 percent. A true number when you consider that almost every one in two finds his or her love luck via the provider. In addition, nine out of ten relationships formed in this way last.
The University of Vienna even goes one step further and relies on data from the Federal Statistical Office, according to which marriages last longer when couples get to know each other online. One possible reason for this: There is a more targeted search and only then, a real date when both are sure about it as well. Most of the getting-to-know-you phase takes place online, which means they already know a lot about each other before the first date.
This leads to the conclusion that the success rates are fundamentally high. You just have to know how to behave in online dating and be patient.
4. How many dates does it take to get a kiss?
Formerly, people used to say that the third date ends with a kiss. But is that really the case or do singles take more time even for the first kiss? To begin with, disillusionment is clear, because there is no rule of thumb. But there are signs of when the time for the first kiss has come, both for men and women. Be it on the second, the third or even the very first date - body language and facial expressions tell us a lot about our counterpart.
You have a wonderful first date, where you laugh together, touch each other fleetingly again and again and that just feels really good. Now wouldn't be the right moment to take the initiative or could it end with a resounding slap in the face? Wait until goodbye...
When you say goodbye to each other after the date, you should pay close attention to their looks and body language. A brief two-second hug and a wandering gaze are clear signs that there shouldn't be a kiss. But if she looks deeply into your eyes and her gaze wanders to your lips, it is the first sign that she has already taken this step in her mind. This may well be the case on the first date and can therefore have nothing to do with a rule of thumb. The fact that the first kiss should feel good for both of you is important, and even the location doesn't matter. It only counts if there is a spark between you and even an unromantic location can become paradise on earth.
5. How do I find out which online dating app suits me?
In order to answer the question "Which online dating app suits me?", you must first reflect on yourself. What do you value most in online dating? Do you prefer a large selection that allows you to go on a search yourself, or do you prefer pre-sorted contact suggestions that suit you? Are you looking for a serious relationship at all or just for non-binding contacts to feel physical closeness?
Before you choose your online dating app, you need to be clear about your intentions and where your priorities lie. This is the only way to find the one that will make you happy among the numerous providers.
Of course, there's nothing to stop you from registering with several providers simultaneously and taking advantage of the test phases. Or you can look at comparison portals with reviews from former users, where you get first-hand experience. The more time you take in advance for your choice, the easier it will be to use online dating.
6. Online dating without a photo: Can it work?
Is it possible to meet interesting contacts in online dating without pictures?
Probably no, and the reason is quite simple. Even if members do not attach great importance to appearance and are anything but superficial, no one likes to buy a pig in a poke. You don't necessarily have to upload beauty shots of yourself with outstanding quality. However, an appealing and easily recognizable picture of yourself is an absolute must. In some cases, the failure is simply due to an inadequate profile design, whereby photos also play an important role.
So not uploading a picture at all will only hurt you in the end. Your counterpart will ask strange questions if you fill out everything but don't have a picture. After all, photos not only provide a first impression and often show how charismatic a person is and what charisma he or she has.
Our tip: If you don't have any pictures at all that you want to use for online dating, you should take some quickly. Photos that only show landscapes and group pictures are also not recommended. You should be clearly recognizable and put on a sympathetic smile. Perhaps your chances of success increase naturally with the right pictures.
7. Online dating without costs: How serious is it?
"Online dating is just a rip-off" - a common statement among people who have not had any success after a short time. But what about operators who provide their services completely free of charge - can we talk about serious online dating there? It all depends, because in fact there are dating platforms like PlentyofFish that are free to use, but they get their finances from advertising. As a user here, you get all functions free of charge, but you have to reckon with advertising when using their platform.
Dating apps such as Lovoo and Badoo also allow limited free use and are among the serious providers. However, your chances of success are much lower in this case, as you can't use all of the functions to their full extent. The free memberships are sufficient in any case to decide whether you are satisfied with the offer.
8. How do I know that he/she is interested in me?
Last but not least, the crucial question that goes through all singles' minds when online dating: "How do I know that he/she is interested in me?"
In online dating in particular, there are no things like facial expressions and gestures from which you can tell if someone is interested. However, there are certain things you can look out for that will tell you.
One sign that your counterpart is interested in you: They will ask you questions that aren't just about superficialities. Someone who is interested in you wants to know more about you and your personality. This can be the case even during the contact request. Does the person refer to information that you have provided on your profile? Then this member has taken the time to go over your dating profile in advance and you have already aroused their interest.
If things from past conversations come up again and again during the conversation, it means that this person is listening to you or reading the messages carefully. This is also a clear signthat there is a great interest in getting to know each other.
Disinterest, on the other hand, is expressed by the fact that they do not respond to your person and your counterpart prefers to talk about themselves and does not respond to you. In this case, it is not worth investing further effort in communication.
In summary
Online dating is not as complex as you might think. Basically, it is much easier to look for a partner online than in real life. The mere fact that the selection is much larger increases the chances of finding the right match for you. Of course, there is also the disadvantage here that singles are always waiting for a better opportunity and dating is seen like a consumer good.
There are even studies that prove that marriages which arises from online dating last longer on average and are more intimate. So, the success rates don't seem so bad, especially when we look at providers like eHarmony, who boast a proud 40 percent. However, anyone who suffers from a lack of self-esteem and sees online dating as a way to overcome this should first work on their personal attitude toward themselves. After all, it is a fact that online dating is not a cure for loneliness.
Online dating without a photo? A fatal mistake that could deprive you of your chances. We clearly recommend pictures in which you are easily recognizable and appear likeable. Also pay attention to the background of the photos, a laundry mountain should not necessarily be seen.
Free online dating is in most cases only good to get an overview of features and options. However, if you have serious intentions, you should think about getting a paid membership.