Online dating for the over-50s and seniors in NZ: Where do singles in their prime fall in love?

Statistics tell us that these days, around one third of couples find each other online. Of course, a lot of these people are relatively young. But this is increasingly becoming the case for people over 50.

Why is this the case?

You probably know from your own experience. By the time you reach 50, you've gotten yourself comfy. You have your daily routine, your circle of friends and your hobbies – everything stays on track. But this means that you rarely meet new people. And when you eventually do...

Well it‘s not just about finding new people, they also need to be single in order for any sort of relationship to flourish.

And just like that, we’ve made the perfect case for giving online dating a try.

Advantage No. 1: Online, you’ll find people you otherwise would never meet.

Advantage No. 2: Most people using online dating sites are after the same thing as you – a new partner.

Some people believe that once you hit your 50s it‘s a wrap – you won‘ t be finding love again. But in reality, the number of over-50s back on the market looking to meet new people in NZ is steadily rising. At the same time, personal circumstances are making this process easier. What are these then?

• The children of the over-50 age bracket have all flown the nest and are making their way in the world. Without the daily obligation of being a parent, a huge amount of time is freed up. And with this, the desire for finding someone new is suddenly there again.
• Most people have climbed the career ladder by the age of 50. With this comfort and security, 50+ singles often find themselves longing for the same level of success in their romantic life.

So you see: The chances of finding love again when you strike 50 is actually pretty good.

Aside from this, at this age you have all that wealth of experience to guide you. You understand people better, and have reflected long enough on your own life to avoid repeating the mistakes of your youth.

The bottom line: Not only does 50+ dating work, it is actually the perfect age to find a new partner. That being clarified, the only question now is which site you ought to check out first.

For newcomers, it is important to know which sites are good and which you should steer clear of.

First things first, not all platforms are created equal. Tinder for example – a typically young age range. And besides, you can‘t start chatting until you have both liked each other. Really, this app is suitable for no-strings sex and casual dating. Looking for the one? Then this may not be the app for you.

Suitable platforms for long-term dating in New Zealand

Singles50, EliteSingles, Match and be2, offer sufficiently high member numbers, many of which are right in the prime of their life.

There‘s really no problem whatsoever with signing up on all the platforms on a free basis just to get a taste.

How do the individual dating sites and apps differ?Naturally, they differ in terms of cost and contract.  And of course, they differ in the way members are matched together.

On Singles50 for instance, you receive a limited amount of contact suggestions every day. In contrast, Match allows you instant access to the entire pool of members. On the other hand, EliteSingles and be2 offer the largest quantity of singles in New Zealand, but only a fraction are over-50s and seniors. The recommendations we make for you here ought to help you sift through the platforms and weigh up your options.

We recommend the following steps for this process:

Register and set the following criteria for searching:

• Your preferred age range
• Distance range
• The most important (!) characteristics, such as smoker/ non-smoker etc. (Tip: Don‘t be too picky, otherwise you will end up restricting your options too much)

Now take a look at the results on all the platforms. Where do you see the most members that match your preferences? You should consider purchasing the premium membership with this site.

Why a Premium membership is important:

The operating and running of an online dating platform costs money. This is why you can only contact other members on many apps and sites once you have purchased the premium membership.

Another advantage of premium dating platforms is that you generally do not come across fake profiles. For one thing, those that create fake profiles usually do not wish to invest in a paid membership. Furthermore, platforms that generate revenue usually have the necessary resources to deal with fake profiles quickly and efficiently.

If you go for a premium membership, you need to be aware that your contract will usually renew automatically. But no need to stress: At the end of your contract, you can cancel any time you want.

And then?

Again, no need to panic. Even when you cancel your membership, you are free to enjoy the benefits right up to the end of the contract time.

Also important: If you have a discount for a contract, it is only valid once. This means: At the end of the discount, you will go on to the standard, full price.

How do you find discounts on online dating sites?

There are offers online here and there. More often however, you‘ll receive offers directly from the dating site provider, even if you chose the basic membership and have yet to pay. It is not uncommon for you to receive your first offer within a week of signing up. So the basic membership does have its advantages.

A lot of people have negative things to say about the world of online dating. But take a look at their profiles – you‘ll see the same mistakes made over and over again. And newcomers are particularly susceptible to these errors.

We want to spare you all of the usual frustrations. So strap in, sit back and get comfortable. Most importantly, pay close attention to the following advice – it could be the difference between success and failure. Regardless of whether you are young or old, the following will see you right:

Rule number 1 – Make your profile first, then start snooping around

The order is important here. So many people are so eager to start looking at what‘s on offer that they forget to make a good impression of themselves through the creation of their own profile. This is a massive mistake.

But why?

Well for starters, anyone with a premium membership will see who visited their profile. Few can resist the temptation of sneaking a peek in return to see who is interested in them. But this is going to be a problem.

Because when your visitor (who knows, it may even be the one) is going to see your terrible profile and jog on quickly. And don‘t kid yourself – they aren‘t coming back.

This is why the process must always be as follows: fill out your profile, and then check out other profiles.

Rule No. 2: Use only your very best photos.

Distorted selfies, blurred photos, photos of sceneries with you not in them, kids in the background, photos with you pulling faces … the world of online dating is overflowing with photos that seem to be vying for the “worst photo on the internet” title.

And the owners of these tragic photos are usually the ones complaining the loudest about online dating.

In case you don’t have any up to date photos of yourself (!) we suggest you hire a photographer to do a proper job for you. You won’t be complaining about the cost when the new photos start attracting members.

What ought to be in an online dating profile photo?

Wherever possible, choose a profile photo that shows your face and another that accentuates your figure. Those that choose only face-pics look like they are trying to hide something.

Rule number. 3 – Be creative with your profile description

“I love my job and my dog. I enjoy yoga and long walks in the park. But a day on the sofa can also be fun”.

Such boring writing can be found all over the place on online dating sites. So providing your photos are popping, what should you be writing?

Something like: “Hello there, it’s really cool that you are getting into yoga”- sound enticing? Exactly, so for your profile:

Write a little story about yourself. Give the profile visitor something to work with. What are you into? What are your no-go s and red flags, and what would you like to do with your dream partner? And another thing – make sure you are spelling all of this stuff right.

Avoid making disparaging comments about other people. You don’t gain anything by doing it and come across as lacking class.

Rule number. 4 – Be active

Online dating sites often offer more than just one way to reach out to new people. In this day and age, a young person can be forgiven for sending a “like” rather than an introductory message.

But at 55, this looks a bit immature and will most likely not result in a response. So, don’t hesitate for too long when you see someone that you like.  As the time passes, you’ll get into the swing of things and before you know it, you’ll be pinging the messages off with ease.

Rule No. 5 – Learn to differentiate between the premium and the standard members

Basic- members can’t read or answer your message, nor can they see who checked them out.

So how can you tell the premium memberships from the basic members?

Some NZ dating sites for singles 50+ assign premium members with a logo or design – for instance, a crown next to the username. Others unfortunately don’t, so you are on your own. Important is:

If you find that you aren’t getting any responses, don’t feel bad. The problem may not lie with you. And don’t take it personally. Maybe the other person doesn’t have the premium membership.

Rule number. 6 – Get over rejection quickly and move on with respect and class

The more active you become on online dating sites, the more often it will happen: you’ll need to push some potential dates to the side to make room for the ones you are really interested in.

Even if you don’t want to give someone the cold shoulder: You need to remember that the longer you put it off, the more hope you are giving the other person, and this isn’t fair.

Rule No. 7 – The road to success is winding and bumpy

At 50, the path to finding “the one” online usually takes between 6 and 12 months (the exceptions prove the rule). On the way, you’ll hit phases in which you are thoroughly fed up with the whole thing. You’ll be left asking yourself on more than one occasion: what the hell am I doing here?

How do you dig your way out of these ruts?

Take a little break and do something else. At some point you’ll catch the dating bug again. And then one day … there they are, right in front of your very eyes – it’s your dream partner. Sparks fly, you kiss, and after what seems like a mere second, it’s clear to you both that your dating days are behind you.  And it’s at this moment that you will finally realise, online dating at 50 was worthwhile after all 😊

Further Readings

Over 40 Dating

Over 30 Dating